The Toughest Job You'll Ever Love: Jen Said it First

Are there times in your life where someone says something that didn't make sense at the time but then it later becomes all you can think about, precisely because it makes so much sense? If so, you might have had a similar moment to what I have had when I think of my dear life long friend Jen and some of her wisdom of the ages. She has said two powerful statements to me, both seemingly simple in nature, but nevertheless profound. The first was something she put on her facebook page underneath her name, where there used to be an "about me" section.

The statement was "I am over the moon happy." There she was with a husband and baby on the way, relating how good life was. And there I was, happily living out my days in D.C., finishing law school, happily dating a very special man, and all of could think of when I read her comment was, "huh?" Seriously? Life in the baby/husband/not-focusing-on-career-mode seemed totally out of interest for me. It seemed like a big huge train of mundane about to hit me in the face. But yet, I wanted that feeling. That "let's-be-done-with-law-school" (or any school for that matter), and just relish in ever lasting over the moon happy feelings. 

Well, I can report to you that I got my wish. That special man I was dating? Yep, he's my awesome husband now. And that bulge in Jen's tummy that became her beautiful first born son? I am blessed to have one of those too. And my big fancy lawyer legal life? It's still there...but now I'm not. I'm home with my son full time. So naturally, I was eating humble pie when I thought of how surprised I had initially been to see Jen's comment. I'm embarrassed to say: I thought she was lying. I thought she was trying to convince people that life was better than it was or convince herself. Nope, nope, nope. A husband and a child were a dream come true. Hands down. But the story doesn't end there.

A few years later when I was on the phone with Jen and she commented on the stresses of life and babydom and making everything work. She said, "I'm just ready for things to not be so hard all the time." Um, what? My reaction was again disbelief. Jen now had two beautiful children, and the same great husband. Surely, whatever she is describing must be a case specific circumstance. It wouldn't happen to me. The total elation I felt every second wouldn't wear off, would it? Could it? This had to be a fluke. I remember nodding, but thinking, I won't feel this way. Ever. It's not going to happen to me. This parenting ship will be smooth sailing. I can differentiate my life and...." Pause. Quiet. Crickets chirping through the silence. My thoughts stopped there. And guess what? So did my reality. Jen said it first and she was right again. 

It is so hard. Some days the word impossible comes to mind. I have made some changes I never thought I would (e.g. 10pm bedtime for myself, a night owl at heart) and so many countless others. And the all-day, all-night marathon of love, craziness, love, ecstasy, and many many parenting pitfalls continues...and the beat goes on and on and on.  

These days I am still a mom to my one amazing son. Jen has two beautiful kids now. Next time she says something, my listening ears are on. They are perked up. And while I'm not waiting for premonitions of glory day or dooms day to come, I am taking the advice of those who come before me with a new level of seriousness. 'Cuz parenting can be totally fun or totally serious. It don't matter who says it when. But all the same, thanks for the insight, Jen.